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Tarra Jackson

Feb 14
Love0

Stop Overspending in the Name of Love For Valentine’s Day!

By Love and Money, Money Management, Saving No Comments
(Image: iStock.com/belchonock)

(Image: iStock.com/belchonock)

Valentine’s Day is the official holiday for celebrating love. However, because it’s almost exclusively a commercial holiday, it is also about spending money. This combination often leads to bad money decisions, because it encourages emotional spending out of love, obligation, and even guilt.

Before you get caught up, listen up: Love is not a legitimate excuse for irresponsible spending. So, choose to avoid these unloving financial behaviors for Valentine’s Day:

Do Not Spend More Than You Can Afford

Being overly generous when money is tight does nothing good for the giver or the receiver. More importantly, don’t get caught up in trying to impress your friends and relatives. Honesty, including financial honesty, is key to any healthy relationship. So, don’t pretend to have money you don’t have by playing the “big spender” role.

Do Not Use Love as a Justification for Emotional Spending

Love is not about making financial decisions with your heart, instead of your head. Even though emotional spending can give a temporary high, it can also lead to guilt, buyer’s remorse, and even resentment between partners. Many a relationship have been destroyed by this cycle.

Do Not Blackmail Your Sweetheart Into Spending

Never pressure anyone to purchase financially irresponsible Valentine’s Day gifts, in order to “prove” their love to you, or worse, to impress your friends and family.

Giving and receiving as an expression of love is not about price tags, but about meaning. The most meaningful gift does not have to cost an arm and a leg, and an expensive gift without meaning will be soon forgotten, on top of being a waste of money.

To be financially responsible without coming off as cheap or insensitive, take my advice:

Do Not Wait Until the Last Minute!

Desperation or impulse spending nearly always results in spending more money than intended, or getting a less than ideal gift—or worse, both. People can tell when you didn’t put thought into their gift, no matter how much you spend at the last minute. The key to getting the best products and services for the lowest prices is to plan your purchases and shop for them in advance. This also gives you more options, including shopping online, with enough time to order items for arrival before Valentine’s Day, without incurring hefty shipping charges.

Budget for Valentine’s Day, as You Would for All Gift-Giving Occasions

If you can, take the time to get buy-in, and manage the expectations of your Valentine. Openly discuss what you can and can’t afford in advance, and set mutually agreed upon spending limits that fit into your respective budgets.

Use the Most Powerful Aphrodisiac: Your Imagination

Instead of a big expensive purchase, think of a thoughtful, affordable gift, along with romantic ways to make the day special. Invest your time and attention instead of more money. Often, overspending is really just an expensive cop-out to avoid investing genuine emotion and true meaning into Valentine’s Day.
Focus on four areas:

  1. Things you can personally do for your sweetheart.
  2. Things you can do together.
  3. Things you can make for your Valentine.
  4. Places you can go together.

For example, gift your partner with a spa day, with you personally giving the mani/pedi, massage, shampoo, and several hours of your undivided attention. If you are artistically inclined, compose a song, or dedicate a handmade book of poetry or an original painting to your Valentine. How about enrolling in a class together, such as ballroom dancing, which could enhance your sense of teamwork and ensure you are in each others arms at least once a week. Of course, this kind of stuff will take thought, planning, preparation, and time (see “Do Not Wait Until the Last Minute!” above) to pull off.

The Bottom Line: Spending irresponsibly is no way to say “I love you,” even on Valentine’s Day. No one who really loves you would want you to do it. With advance planning and communication, you can have Valentine’s Day romance without blowing your finances.

 

Originally appeared on BlackEnterprise.com.

Written by Alfred Edmond, Jr. 

 

Feb 11
Love0

How To Deal With A Mate Who Overspends

By Love and Money, Money Management No Comments





black-couple-and-stack-of-moneyLove of money is not only the root of all evil, as the saying goes, it’s also the number one thing couples fight about. According to a 2014 Time magazine survey, 70 percent of couples argued about money more than household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring, or what’s for dinner. Delving deeper into the findings, it seems the money issues couples fight over most are frivolous purchases, household budgeting, and credit card debt.

Keeping tabs on their money is a top priority for couples. The survey found that “60 percent of husbands and wives said they check their bank accounts more than they have sex and 22 percent said they hide purchases from their spouses,” reported Huffington Post.

Obviously, it’s important to be on the same financial page as your spouse, but this can be difficult to do, especially when you have different spending and saving philosophies. If you like to save and your husband likes to spend, this can cause a great amount of friction in your relationship. That also signals it’s time to talk money with your mate, especially if he or she is spending more than you like.

“Realize that your spouse is not your enemy,” personal finance blogger Cherie Low of Queen of Free and author of Slaying the Debt Dragon, told MadameNoire. “My husband and I learned so many lessons about effective communication when paying off our $127,000 debt. Money fights and problems often lead to divorce. It’s easy, especially for a frugal-minded person, to begin to demonize the actions of their significant other. Being married is difficult and involves laying down our own opinions and expectations daily. You need to begin by realizing your spouse’s overspending it’s their method of attacking you. More than likely, they come from a good place in their purchasing patterns or are battling a legacy of money mismanagement.”

Ask any couple what the key is to a good relationship and they’ll likely say communication, so why leave finances out of the discussion? “Talking about money can promote happiness in your relationship,” James Capolongo, head of Consumer Deposits at TD Bank, told us. “In fact, According to the second annual TD Bank Love & Money Survey, nearly 80 percent of the survey respondents who talk about money at least once a week said they are happy.”

As with many things, timing is everything when it comes to talking about money with your partner. “The when and where of having a serious conversation about spending needs to be well planned,” noted Lowe. “Throwing a receipt in your husband or wife’s face while belittling them in front of the kids won’t be productive. Choose a time to have a talk that can make a real difference. If you aim only to hurt the other party’s feelings, no change will occur.”

Here are four more tips on dealing with a spouse who’s an overspender.

Decide together on big purchases.

“Couples can prevent possible arguments by agreeing ahead of time that purchases over a set amount should be discussed first. That way you are managing spending as a team sport,” suggested Capolongo.

Tackling debt should be a joint effort.

“In our relationship, I was the spouse who didn’t really want to jump into the journey of paying off debt immediately. I wasn’t a wild spender but I definitely have a more spontaneous money attitude than my husband. He thinks long-term and I think short-term. But the beauty is that every relationship needs both participants to balance each other out. One of the biggest switches we threw was to begin to dream big together about what we would do once our debt was eliminated. As we shared that vision, we grew stronger in communicating about our finances,” shared Lowe.

Set spending limits.

“My husband and I have agreed to a set dollar amount that we don’t spend if we haven’t talked to each other first for non-budgeted expenses. Almost every single time, we both agree the purchase is necessary. But the limit helps us to check in with each other and stay in contact with what is being spent,” explained Lowe.

Communicate and communicate often.

“It’s wise to meet regularly to discuss your finances and upcoming expenses. At least once a week, you should have a more formal talk, looking over the budget for the month and year ahead. Talk about long-term goals–retirement, college, and paying off debt or mortgage. But also think through short-term expenses–birthdays, holidays, vacation, and school expenses for the kids. If you can, check in daily together over the checking account and clear up any confusion about purchases,” advises Lowe.

Originally appeared on MadameNoir.com.
Feb 10
Love0

Why People Don’t Use Financial Advisors

By Investments, Money Management, Relationships No Comments

Many people just do not want to meet with a financial adviser despite the fact that using one may provide numerous financial advantages. Financial advisers provide objectivity of financial situations and give advice to help establish a more secure financial position.

A few personal finance professionals, authors, teachers and bloggers, from the Elevate Community, dedicated to uplifting people of color financially, shared their perspectives:

“JUST NOT READY”

Just like weight loss, financial wellness is one of the top three new year resolutions and personal goals. Most people generally know what to do to improve their financial situation, but some are just not ready to do it.

“We like comfort!” says Andre Albritton of The Millennials Next Door. “A financial adviser will give recommendations outside of our comfort zone which can be a frightening experience.”

Money mantras like “save more and spend less” and “pay yourself first” have been stated by every financial expert. The reality is if a person is not mentally ready, they will not execute any plan.

COST

On television, rich and famous people seem to be the only ones talking about meeting with financial advisers. This creates the perception that it takes thousands or millions of dollars to work with a financial adviser. The consumers living paycheck to paycheck with minimal or no assets (like a home, investments, etc.) may presume it is too expensive to meet with a financial adviser.

Many middle-class Americans are working hard to pay their bills and make ends meet. Paying to meet with a financial adviser may seem premature or unrealistic.

DENIAL

“People put off seeing a financial adviser for the same reason they avoid going to the doctor or dentist” shares Alfred Edmond Jr., BLACK ENTERPRISE Your Money Your Life Podcast host and co-author of Loving in the Grownzone. “They don’t want to deal with the choices, remedies, or lifestyle changes that will likely be necessary to improve their condition.”

People that practice avoidance in the hope that the problems will go away, or correct itself will deny the problem, and chose not to deal with the financial situation. Unfortunately, avoiding the dis-ease in the bank account will leave a person vulnerable to more financial hardships.

“People are embarrassed about their current (financial) situation and believe their choices got them in that predicament” explains Atiya Brown of Live Financially Savvy Podcast. “Since they don’t know the extent, they may tend to ignore and avoid.”

PRIDE

Almost 10 years ago, my pride almost put me in the poor house. I remember being ashamed to admit my major money mistakes and felt like a failure. I locked myself in a self-inflicted private prison of shame.

People suffer in silence because of their pride and the shame they feel because of their money mistakes. Making the decision to let go of the shame and ask for guidance will help to release the guilt.

PRODUCT PUSHERS

Julien Saunders of rich & REGULAR states, “Some financial advisers have a tendency to be pushy. Although well-intended, some (financial advisers) can make a person feel pressured. Consumers must fully understand the implications, alternatives, or cost to them as the investor.”

Some financial advisers are perceived as product pushers. Product pushing financial professionals turn off and scare away many consumers. Even though consumers know that financial advisers sell products, they do not want to feel pressured into purchasing products they don’t understand.

STRANGER DANGER

People do business with people they like, know, and trust. Sharing secret financial skeletons with  someone you don’t know can be extremely uncomfortable. It is even more frightening to give control of your money and assets to that stranger.

Patrina K. Dixon of It’$ My Money says, “Some people have trust issues. Therefore, if they do not trust the financial advisor, they will not be safe to share relevant information the adviser may need to assist the client.

 

SOME ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS TO USING FINANCIAL ADVISERS 

Many are not ready for the financial commitment to meet or work with a financial adviser. Here are some alternative options and resources to help you “start where you are.”

FINANCIAL BLOGS AND PODCASTS

Financial blogs are an excellent resource for free money tips and strategies. Here are a few blogs and podcasts to check out.

Tanya Rapley’s My Fab Finance Blog teaches millennial women of color how to regain control of their finances, overcome financial challenges, and pay off debt.

Talaat and Tai McNeely host the His And Her Money Podcast. Their podcast and blog aim to help married couples reach their financial goals together.

Marsha Barnes’ The Finance Bar Blog connects individuals to their financial wellness. She offers one-on-one coaching and an app that shows where your money is going.

ONLINE FINANCIAL TRIBES

John Hope Bryant, the founder of Operation Hope stated, “If you hang around nine broke people, you will be the tenth.” Connecting with people who have similar financial goals or have achieved the success desired is essential to financial success. Here are a few online financial tribes to check out.

The Live Richer Academy founded by Tiffany Aliche, who is known as The Budgetnista, is a membership-based online platform that offers courses designed to help participants take their finances to the next level.

Founded by Sandy Smith, of Yes I Am Cheap blog, Hustle Crew is a private Facebook group community that provides resources on entrepreneurship and starting a side hustle.

FINANCIAL COACHES

Financial coaches educate clients on the basics of money and credit management. They help their clients establish financial goals and create a customized plan to reach those goals. Financial coaches act as accountability partners to encourage and challenge their clients to success.

Financial coaching services range free through a non-profit programs to a few hundred dollars per hour to work with popular financial coaches privately.

 

 

Originally published on BlackEnterprise.com.

Feb 06
Love0

How Money Can Bring Couples Closer

By Love and Money, Money Management No Comments

Society gives men and women different messages about how to handle money. Men must be the breadwinners and know everything about finance. Women, however, even if they’re bringing home a paycheck, need to be nurturing and let men make important financial decisions.

These messages put a lot of pressure on the financial aspect of the relationship. Women tend to see concerns or complaints as an invitation to move closer. Men hear concerns or complaints as a warning flag that they are about to get blamed for something. That makes it very difficult to have conversations about money.

In order to avoid the pitfalls that financial differences can open up in relationships, it is essential to have the courage to dig beneath our stereotypes and our different conditioning.

Here are some tips that may be helpful:

Lose the notion of right and wrong. 

There are no right and wrong beliefs about money, just different attitudes and beliefs, and they all come from our individual experiences. To tell someone they’re wrong is telling them that your experiences are more valuable than theirs. That’s simply not the truth — you’ll strike a nerve and start an argument.

Don’t use money as a weapon.

Don’t bring money into conflicts where it does not belong. If your partner is upset because you have not been spending time together, don’t say something like, ‘I’m working to pay off your bills.’ Also, don’t go on a spending binge if you’re mad at your spouse. Actions like these take problems that aren’t related to money into dangerous territory.

Set long-and short-term goals as a couple. 

Ask yourself questions like, ‘What are some things we want to do with our finances this year? Do we want to build up our savings or take a vacation? What do we want to do in five or 10 years? How does our behavior have to change individually and as a couple in order to accomplish our dreams?’

Stay connected to your goals. 

A great way to stay on top of your goals is to do a monthly money date. Attach a positive activity to it, like dinner, and be sure to talk about your goals and dreams, not just your problems. Figure out how to build on each other’s strengths (Note: Do not have this meeting at the beginning or end of the month, as things tend to be tense near bill-paying time.)

Have your own money. 

While you have goals as a couple, you also have individual needs and goals. Once you agree on what you will each contribute to the family unit, decide on an amount that is off-limits. If you want to take it out into the backyard and burn it, it’s your decision. No discussion, no criticism.

Our challenges are our greatest teachers. Courageously faced, the bumps couples face in the road to financial well-being can pave a path to communication that will benefit their overall relationship.

Written by , originally posted on BlackEnterprise.com.

Feb 04
Love0

Is Your Mate Good in the “Bank”?

By Love and Money, Money Management No Comments




When looking for that great mate, finding someone that is compatible in religion, personality, goals and yes, the bed is extremely important. However, financial compatibility is usually overlooked and often ignored. This is surprising since one of the main reasons for marital arguments and divorce is money matters.

So ladies, as you begin your search or determination if you are compatible with your potential mate as a friend, partner and lover, here are 9 ways to determine if he is also good in the “bank.”

1. He Has Financial Goals and Plans

Not only does he have career and relationship goals, but he also has financial goals. Having financial goals and an action plan shows that he is a visionary and understands that it takes money to fund an ideal lifestyle. Whether the goals are to save six months of income in case of an emergency or job loss; or to be debt free, this is a strong indication that he is willing to put aside money on purpose.

2. He Has a True Savings Account

Let’s be honest! Most people don’t have a real savings account. It’s more of a “Side Piece” Account. A “Side Piece” account is that account connected to, or in the same financial institution as, your checking account. When the checking account cannot give you the cash to buy what you want, you then tap the “Asset” of the savings account. Therefore, that so-called savings account will never have enough funds for when you need it the most. A true savings account is an account used to accumulate funds with minimal, if no, withdrawal or depletion. He respects the savings account and does not abuse the access.

3. He Plans for His Financial Future

He understands the power of compound interest and takes advantage of his company-sponsored retirement savings plan, like a 401k, especially when his company matches his contributions. A company match is technically free money and can escalate retirement savings over time. According to Bankrate’s monthly Financial Security Index national poll, around 1 in 3 Americans isn’t saving for retirement at all. Even though “a man is NOT a retirement plan,” it is good to know that he is planning for a secure financial future for his family.

4. He Is Willing to Wait

In a world of immediate gratification thanks to microwaves, fast food restaurants, and social media (to name a few), it is a pleasure to find someone who is willing to wait when it comes to making certain purchases and borrowing money. Being a compulsive impulse buyer is dangerous to a family’s financial stability. Having the discipline to wait on certain purchases until he finds a better deal and saves up enough money to avoid going into debt, makes him a keeper.

5. He Has a Budget

He knows the power of naming his dollars with a budget. He also understands that by not having a spending or savings plan allows his cash to dictate what he can’t do or buy. Budgeting creates a roadmap of how to reach financial goals. He has a budget to make sure he has enough to take care of his family’s needs and wants.

Also read: The Best Budgeting Tips for Beginners


6. He Has Multiple Streams of Income

Having only one source of income can put a family in a vulnerable position should that source dry up due to job termination, illness, etc. He not only has a main source of income, but he also has other sources of income from investments or legitimate side hustles. We have multiple streams of bills, it only makes sense (and cents) to have multiple streams of income. Right?

7. He Understands Credit

Credit is meant to be leverage. It is a tool. However, if the user becomes an abuser, credit can become the catalyst of a painful cavity of debt. He understands the anatomy of the credit score:

  • 35% – Payment History (Are you paying creditors on time?)
  • 30% – Utilization of Revolving Debt (Are you keeping balances below 30%)
  • 15% – Age of Credit (How long have you had credit established?)
  • 10% – Types of Credit Established (Are you responsible with different types of credit?)
  • 10% – New Credit Acquired and Inquiries (Who’s looking at your credit cookies?)

He also knows the power of good credit when it comes to making major purchases, like a new home or car, as well as getting insurance, utilities, and a job. BTW, Credit is like sex. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. And if you do, make sure you use protection … a budget!

8. He Is Open to Talking About Money

Talking about money is not taboo for him. He is open to sharing his financial language, excited to learn yours as well as how to best communicate with each other. He is also not opposed to talking with a financial professional for help with money matters that he may not understand or feel confident.

9. He Is Ok with Saying and Hearing NO!

Sometimes man’s rejection is God’s protection, and he knows it. Saying NO to certain purchases is not to make him or his love upset or deprived, but he sees the bigger picture and how the transaction may affect his family’s financial goals. This doesn’t mean he says or likes hearing No to everything, but he understands the importance of being selective and protective about spending money to avoid negatively affect his family’s financial security.

Of course Ladies, this goes both ways, and our men are looking for the same thing.

But, if you have or find a man that is this good in the “bank,” he’ll probably be great in the bed as well. At least that is our hope.