Category

Relationships

Nov 16
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Relationships with Money and the 4 Financial Languages

By Money Management, Relationships No Comments

 

In my experience working with couples and individuals, I realized that, as we love differently, we also communicate about money differently. Savers and Spenders argue about money because they speak different financial languages. Therefore, if we can learn our dominant Financial Language, we can also understand other people’s Financial Language so we won’t argue about money. Money is a tool that shouldn’t have the power to destroy what God has put together. 

Also, in these tumultuous economic times, we must understand our dominant financial language to get through cash flow crises.

Here are the 4 Financial Languages and what you can do to protect your financial foundation during uncertain times. 

SAVING

The Saver’s pleasure principle is seeing their bank account grow because they need safety, security, and control. 

As everything increases in price, they need to shop around to find the best deal that fits their budget. They like that B word, “budget,” because they can control where their money goes. 

With the Federal Reserve raising the Prime Rate, the banks increase their deposit rates. So now is a good time for savers to deposit more money in interest-bearing accounts like CDs and Money Market accounts.

SPENDING

The Spender’s pleasure principle is the transaction, and retail therapy is REAL. 

As everything (food, gas, etc.) is increasing in cost and with Fed Rate Hikes, credit also costs more. 

When the desire to buy something fires up, now is the time to focus on how much they can afford so it doesn’t affect their spending power. Since loan interest rates are higher, what matters now is to “Act Your Wage” to minimize or avoid overspending.

INVESTING

The Investor’s pleasure principle is the Return On Investment (ROI), whether money, time, or people.

Right now, the market is unpredictable and volatile. Instead of looking for immediate ROI gratification, think long-term as investors. Consider the market being on sale. 

That’s where “buy low, sell high” comes into play. Depending on your age or financial capacity, now may be a good time to buy more as an investor to get a long-term ROI. 

NOTE: Consult a trusted investment adviser before making any drastic investment moves.

GIVING

The Giver’s pleasure principle is helping others. Whether by giving money, time, or resources, they want to know, “how can I help?” 

In this economic environment, they are more sensitive to helping others but need to realize that they must put their “financial oxygen mask” on first. They need to know when to save, spend and invest for themselves to protect their financial stability. 

It’s beautiful to be a giver, but they should ensure they financially take care of themselves to give to others. 

To learn more about your dominant Financial Languages and how to become Fiscally Bilingual, get your copy of 4 Financial Languages. 

Nov 18
Love0

10 Ways to Find Joy During the Holidays after the Loss of a Loved One

By Money Management, Relationships No Comments

Thanksgiving and Christmas were my mother’s favorite holidays. However, after losing my mother in April 2016 and one of my good friends, Tommy Ford, in October 2016, finding joy in these joyous holidays is more challenging than I expected.

I reached out to my Facebook Friends for some suggestions on how to cope during the Holidays after losing a loved one and received numerous loving responses and suggestions.

Vernessa Blackwell inboxed me some helpful information and I thought I’d share this great advice with you.

I hope this article helps you Find Joy During the Holidays After Losing a Loved One.

 

 

Thе hоlіdауѕ аrе fаѕt аррrоасhіng аnd thеrе аrе reminders tо bе mеrrу bесаuѕе thе ѕеаѕоn оf jоу іѕ uроn uѕ. Hоwеvеr, іf уоu fіnd уоurѕеlf іn a ѕtаtе оf grіеf, then іnѕtеаd оf еmbrасіng thіѕ tіmе, уоu might bе lооkіng fоr аn еѕсаре route. In fасt, thіnkіng аbоut thеѕе еvеntѕ саn сrеаtе a ѕеnѕе оf раnіс. Suddеnlу, уоu find a lumр іn уоur thrоаt аnd tears wеllіng uр іn уоur еуеѕ.

Hеrе аrе ten thіngѕ thаt уоu саn dо tо соре wіth grіеf аnd lоѕѕ durіng thе hоlіdауѕ:

Mаkе a Plаn. 

Knоw wіthоut a dоubt, thаt thе holidays wіll bе dіffісult аnd раіnful. It саn bе іnсrеdіblу helpful tо mаkе a рlаn tо dо ѕоmе thіngѕ differently. Mаkе a рlаn thаt wіll include уоur loved one’s nаmе, mеmоrіеѕ, ѕtоrіеѕ, during соnvеrѕаtіоnѕ аnd асtіvіtіеѕ. Aсknоwlеdgе hеr рrеѕеnсе іn уоur lіfе, аnd уоur оngоіng lоvе, аѕ well аѕ thе раіn уоu fееl duе tо thе tеrrіblе аbѕеnсе оf уоur bеlоvеd.

Hаvе аn еxіt ѕtrаtеgу. 

If уоu do decide tо аttеnd a hоlіdау раrtу, сrеаtе a рlаn оf hоw уоu саn lеаvе іf thіngѕ bесоmе tоо оvеrwhеlmіng. Consider drіving ѕераrаtеlу or соnfіdе іn a сlоѕе frіеnd thаt уоu wаnt tо tеѕt thе waters, but уоu аrе nоt ѕurе hоw уоu will hаndlе thіngѕ. Make sure the person will be okay to leave early if necessary. 

Stор ароlоgіzіng. 

Yоu dоn’t have tо fееl guіltу about уоur grіеf. Thе hоlіdауѕ саn brіng uр vеrу dіffісult mеmоrіеѕ аnd thіѕ ѕhоuld nоt сrеаtе a fееlіng оf ѕhаmе. Yоu аrе dеерlу mіѕѕіng уоur lоvеd оnе, аnd you аrе еmоtіоnаllу fragile. Eасh tіmе уоu ароlоgіzе, уоu are bаѕісаllу ѕеndіng уоurѕеlf a mеѕѕаgе thаt уоu аrе dоіng ѕоmеthіng wrоng.

Stау оff ѕосіаl mеdіа. 

Scrolling through ѕосіаl media рlаtfоrmѕ, lооkіng аt рhоtоgrарhѕ оf оthеrѕ engaging іn hоlіdау festivities іѕ a gаtеwау into аn unsupervised еmоtіоnаl lаnd mіnе. You wіll see реорlе уоu knоw and lоvе аt раrtіеѕ уоu wеrе nоt іnvіtеd. You may ѕtumblе uроn аn іnѕеnѕіtіvе соmmеnt аbоut уоu оr your lоvеd оnе.

Dо ѕоmеthіng dіffеrеnt. 

Many fаmіlіеѕ hаvе hоlіdау trаdіtіоnѕ. Nоt hаvіng уоur lоvеd оnе hеrе сrеаtеѕ a dаrk vоіd. The еmрtу ѕрасе thаt іѕ lеft bу thіѕ dеаth wіll nоt gо unnоtісеd bу уоu, аnd trуіng tо dо thіngѕ the ѕаmе аѕ lаѕt year wіll mаkе thе ѕрасе ѕееm еvеn mоrе рrоmіnеnt. Dоіng something dіffеrеnt dоеѕ not tаkе аwау уоur grіеf, but іt can ѕоftеn thе еdgе.

Stау аwау frоm heavily populated stores or malls. 

Malls аnd rеtаіl ѕtоrеѕ hаvе created a hоlіdау-раlооzа thаt іѕ dіffісult tо еѕсаре. Evеrуwhеrе you lооk, уоu wіll ѕее ѕоmеthіng tеllіng уоu tо be сhеrrу аnd brіght. While out and about, you may fіnd уоurѕеlf еngаgіng іn a соnvеrѕаtіоn wіth ѕоmеоnе who may unintentionally say something that sends you rееlіng wіth unсоntrоllаblе еmоtіоnѕ. If you choose to go out shopping, bring a friend or family member that can keep you focused. Better yet, shopping online is always an option.

Gіvе уоurѕеlf ѕоmе сrеdіt. 

Yоu survived thе unіmаgіnаblе. However, уоu hаvе no іdеа hоw you аrе funсtіоnіng. But ѕоmеhоw уоu аrе ѕtіll hеrе. Bеаtіng уоurѕеlf uр wіth lіѕtѕ оf whаt you thіnk you need tо dо іѕ сruеl. Yоu аrе brаvеr аnd ѕtrоngеr thаn уоu knоw.

Crеаtе уоur оwn ѕаnіtу расk.

Fоr ѕоmе, іt саn bе a bаg fіllеd wіth уоur fаvоrіtе bооkѕ, mаgаzіnеѕ or сhосоlаtе. Fоr оthеrѕ, іt can bе ѕсhеdulіng a уоgа сlаѕѕ or massage when уоu knоw a раrtу іѕ оngоіng. Hаvе tаngіblе іtеmѕ thаt brіng уоu соmfоrt. Oреn уоur ‘ѕаnіtу расk’ аftеr rеturnіng hоmе frоm a ѕtrеѕѕful mееtіng оr unwеlсоmе еnсоuntеr. Do thing creates a dіѕtrасtіоn that wіll gеt you thrоugh thе extremely rоugh mоmеntѕ.

Seek рrоfеѕѕіоnаl hеlр. 

Yоu may nееd tо vіѕіt оur grіеf соасh іf you are еxреrіеnсіng рhуѕісаl ѕуmрtоmѕ. Thе bооk, “Thе Grіеf Hеlрlіnе” written bу the Vеrnеѕѕа Blасkwеll-Lіfе Grіеf аnd Jоу Rеѕtоrаtіоn Cоасh, can help you deal with grief.

Chаngе уоur mіnd. 

You hаvе thе rіght tо сhаngе уоur mіnd. Although you accepted a party invitation three weeks ago, you may now be fіllеd wіth аnxіеtу. If it is tоо оvеrwhеlmіng, it іѕ оkау tо сhаngе уоur mіnd. It іѕ better tо tаkе саrе of уоurѕеlf thаn tо wоrrу аbоut bеіng рrеѕеnt fоr a раrtу.

Contributor: Vernessa Blackwell

Photo: Flickr

11200639_1251118731573653_999612071383592708_nOrdеr уоur сору оf Vernessa Blackwell’s upсоmіng bооk Thе Grіеf Hеlрlіnе: Rеѕtоrіng Yоur Joy After Exреrіеnсіng a Pеrѕоnаl Lоѕѕ.  Arе you lіvіng life fully оr are уоu juѕt ѕurvіvіng dау-tо-dау? Inѕtеаd оf ѕtrugglіng thrоugh life wіth nо dіrесtіоn or рurроѕе visit her wеbѕіtе at www.grіеfhеlрlіnе.соасh.

May 10
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5 Great Gifts Moms Rather Get Than Flowers On Mother’s Day

By Money Management, Relationships No Comments

As a mother, I love the attention I get on Mother’s Day. The flowers, dinners, and gifts are awesome! However, like most mother’s, I need help and time off to recharge. So, this year along with the traditional Mother’s Day flowers and crowded restaurants, here are few gift suggestions from actual Mothers!

Cold Hard CASH!

If you your mother is like my mother, instead of an expensive gift, she will opt for the cash in her hand or bank account. Some pretty flowers and a sentimental or fun card with CASH falling out is always an awesome surprise for Moms. This allows the Super Mom to buy something she really wants or replenish her savings account.

Pay A Bill

While in the car with one of my friends, she received a call from her adult daughter. She didn’t have the call on speakerphone, but I heard the entire conversation.

Her daughter said to her, “Mommy, I love you so much. I am so sorry that I won’t be in town for Mother’s Day. But this year, I want to give you something special. I am going to pay your mortgage payment for the month of May.”

My friend gasped in excited and lovingly accepted her daughter’s generous gift.

Now, you may not be able to pay your mother’s mortgage or rent for the month, but offering to Pay A Bill for your mother will free up her money for the month to do something special for herself.

Mommy Duty Vacation

My sister is the ultimate Super Woman. She is a wife, a mother, has a job and is also does speaking engagements as a side hustle. Since her husband broke his knee, she is the chauffeur, chef, cleaning lady, nurse, tutor, nurturer, disciplinarian, etc. … and that is just at home.

In her exhaustion, she shared “If I had someone that could just relieve me of my Mommy Duties for a day or two, I could get some sleep and recharge.”

So, if you know a Mom that is also on the go for her family, gift her one or a few days off of Mommy Duty. You can even create coupons for Mommy Night Out or Mommy Sleep In Babysitting Duty, Kid’s Activities Chauffer, Cook for the Family, Cleaning the House (The Mommy Way), etc.

House Cleaning Service

One of the most time-consuming tasks is cleaning the house. Even with help from the family through chores assigned or the #HoneyDo list, sometimes moms get the awesome opportunity (insert sarcasm) of going behind everyone to actually clean (The Mommy Way).

Karen from FB shares, “I love my family. But cleaning the house takes up so much of my time and I’m already exhausted. I would love to have maid service just once so I could relax.”

Hiring a House Cleaning Service to do a thorough cleaning of the house may be the best Mother’s Day gift ever! Just make sure you ask your mom if it’s ok first. You know how some of us moms are with strangers in the house.

Food Delivery Service for Week

After a long day of being Super Woman, cooking dinner for the family or just for herself can be an exhausting task. Instead of mom spending money on fast food or eating out, surprise her with a Dinner Delivery Service, like MagicKitchen.com, for a week.

“It so easy to hit the fast food places to take the family out to eat after a long day.” Shares Trina from FB. “If the food was already prepped and I could pop it in the microwave or oven for a few minutes would be a life and money saver!”

Of if the mom just loves to cook, gift her a grocery delivery service membership, like Shipt. Mom can use that extra time, from not having to go grocery shopping or meal prepping, to enjoy a much deserved and probably needed rest and relaxation.

Feb 10
Love0

Why People Don’t Use Financial Advisors

By Investments, Money Management, Relationships No Comments

Many people just do not want to meet with a financial adviser despite the fact that using one may provide numerous financial advantages. Financial advisers provide objectivity of financial situations and give advice to help establish a more secure financial position.

A few personal finance professionals, authors, teachers and bloggers, from the Elevate Community, dedicated to uplifting people of color financially, shared their perspectives:

“JUST NOT READY”

Just like weight loss, financial wellness is one of the top three new year resolutions and personal goals. Most people generally know what to do to improve their financial situation, but some are just not ready to do it.

“We like comfort!” says Andre Albritton of The Millennials Next Door. “A financial adviser will give recommendations outside of our comfort zone which can be a frightening experience.”

Money mantras like “save more and spend less” and “pay yourself first” have been stated by every financial expert. The reality is if a person is not mentally ready, they will not execute any plan.

COST

On television, rich and famous people seem to be the only ones talking about meeting with financial advisers. This creates the perception that it takes thousands or millions of dollars to work with a financial adviser. The consumers living paycheck to paycheck with minimal or no assets (like a home, investments, etc.) may presume it is too expensive to meet with a financial adviser.

Many middle-class Americans are working hard to pay their bills and make ends meet. Paying to meet with a financial adviser may seem premature or unrealistic.

DENIAL

“People put off seeing a financial adviser for the same reason they avoid going to the doctor or dentist” shares Alfred Edmond Jr., BLACK ENTERPRISE Your Money Your Life Podcast host and co-author of Loving in the Grownzone. “They don’t want to deal with the choices, remedies, or lifestyle changes that will likely be necessary to improve their condition.”

People that practice avoidance in the hope that the problems will go away, or correct itself will deny the problem, and chose not to deal with the financial situation. Unfortunately, avoiding the dis-ease in the bank account will leave a person vulnerable to more financial hardships.

“People are embarrassed about their current (financial) situation and believe their choices got them in that predicament” explains Atiya Brown of Live Financially Savvy Podcast. “Since they don’t know the extent, they may tend to ignore and avoid.”

PRIDE

Almost 10 years ago, my pride almost put me in the poor house. I remember being ashamed to admit my major money mistakes and felt like a failure. I locked myself in a self-inflicted private prison of shame.

People suffer in silence because of their pride and the shame they feel because of their money mistakes. Making the decision to let go of the shame and ask for guidance will help to release the guilt.

PRODUCT PUSHERS

Julien Saunders of rich & REGULAR states, “Some financial advisers have a tendency to be pushy. Although well-intended, some (financial advisers) can make a person feel pressured. Consumers must fully understand the implications, alternatives, or cost to them as the investor.”

Some financial advisers are perceived as product pushers. Product pushing financial professionals turn off and scare away many consumers. Even though consumers know that financial advisers sell products, they do not want to feel pressured into purchasing products they don’t understand.

STRANGER DANGER

People do business with people they like, know, and trust. Sharing secret financial skeletons with  someone you don’t know can be extremely uncomfortable. It is even more frightening to give control of your money and assets to that stranger.

Patrina K. Dixon of It’$ My Money says, “Some people have trust issues. Therefore, if they do not trust the financial advisor, they will not be safe to share relevant information the adviser may need to assist the client.

 

SOME ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS TO USING FINANCIAL ADVISERS 

Many are not ready for the financial commitment to meet or work with a financial adviser. Here are some alternative options and resources to help you “start where you are.”

FINANCIAL BLOGS AND PODCASTS

Financial blogs are an excellent resource for free money tips and strategies. Here are a few blogs and podcasts to check out.

Tanya Rapley’s My Fab Finance Blog teaches millennial women of color how to regain control of their finances, overcome financial challenges, and pay off debt.

Talaat and Tai McNeely host the His And Her Money Podcast. Their podcast and blog aim to help married couples reach their financial goals together.

Marsha Barnes’ The Finance Bar Blog connects individuals to their financial wellness. She offers one-on-one coaching and an app that shows where your money is going.

ONLINE FINANCIAL TRIBES

John Hope Bryant, the founder of Operation Hope stated, “If you hang around nine broke people, you will be the tenth.” Connecting with people who have similar financial goals or have achieved the success desired is essential to financial success. Here are a few online financial tribes to check out.

The Live Richer Academy founded by Tiffany Aliche, who is known as The Budgetnista, is a membership-based online platform that offers courses designed to help participants take their finances to the next level.

Founded by Sandy Smith, of Yes I Am Cheap blog, Hustle Crew is a private Facebook group community that provides resources on entrepreneurship and starting a side hustle.

FINANCIAL COACHES

Financial coaches educate clients on the basics of money and credit management. They help their clients establish financial goals and create a customized plan to reach those goals. Financial coaches act as accountability partners to encourage and challenge their clients to success.

Financial coaching services range free through a non-profit programs to a few hundred dollars per hour to work with popular financial coaches privately.

 

 

Originally published on BlackEnterprise.com.

Feb 02
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Tarra Jackson On Cash Conflicts

How Couples Can Avoid Conflicts During Cash Conversations

By Love and Money, Money Management, Relationships No Comments

February is the month to celebrate all things LOVE! On Valentine’s Day, February 14th, many couples take this day to express their love for each other.

However, some couples are having conflicts during necessary cash conversations. Financial fights are one of the top ten reasons couples break up or divorce.

During an interview on the “Unlock Your Wealth TV & Podcast” with host Heather Wagenhals, I discuss common conflicts over cash between couples and how to overcome them. I also explain my upcoming book “4 Financial Languages” and how knowing them can propel you forward in all areas of your life.

Watch, Comment below and Share.

Oct 15
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3 Retirement Savings Tips For Millennials

By Money Management, Relationships, Saving No Comments

A typical high school curriculum offers anything from the traditional subjects – language arts, algebra and U.S. history – to the not-so-traditional subjects, such as gardening, therapeutic dance and business technology.

But despite all those academic options, the educational system is leaving a void in the lives of many students, says CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNERTM professional Eric Hutchinson.

“One thing not being taught in schools is how to manage money and prepare for retirement,” says Hutchinson, author of the book The Financial Briefing. “A lot of students are leaving high school without knowing what they need to know.”

As a result, Hutchinson says that many students – whether they attend college or go straight into the workforce after high school – don’t grasp how important the time factor is when it comes to saving for later in life. Too many people wait too long to start stashing away money for retirement, so that their retirement fund ends up being tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars less than it might have been.

“If you take the right actions early in life, it will make your retirement much easier,” Hutchinson says. “It’s a whole lot harder to play catch up.”

Hutchinson offers some tips for those young people entering the workforce so they aren’t left with little or nothing once their careers are complete.

Think about saving before a life event forces you to.

Hutchinson says that often a major life event will cause people to begin thinking new thoughts about their futures. The event could be a death in the family, being laid off from a job or a debilitating injury. Hutchinson says it shouldn’t take a major life event to remind people to begin to build a nest egg to ensure the financial security of their families.

Technology can’t replace the human touch.

For all the convenience that technology provides us, it still can’t replace the experience of a connection with another person. An experienced personal financial advisor can ask the right questions, provide ongoing guidance, and be an important resource for those who want to plan for retirement, Hutchinson says. A computerized robo advisor or even a live advisor supporting a robo advisor service often doesn’t deliver the same depth of advice or relationship.




Don’t abandon the ride. Let time be your ally. 

Most people have been on a roller coaster. Even though the downhill plummet can be a little scary, most people don’t choose to jump off the ride, although they may think that thought! Investing in the stock market* with retirement savings can be a similar type of ride. There will be plenty of ups and downs, but the descent is no time to jump off, even if you do get jittery. Market history suggests that eventually things may work out, if you allow enough time. “Although past performance doesn’t guarantee future results, time can be an extremely valuable asset for a young person making retirement investments,” says Hutchinson. “Even with the worst of circumstances, people may be OK. As an example, 2008 was one of the worst periods for the stock market since the great depression. By the end of 2010, stocks had recovered enough to erase most of the damage done in the fall of 2008.”

“If you are trying to get rich overnight, it can be a high-risk proposition,” Hutchinson says. “Too many people are looking for instant gratification. Money and life don’t work that way.”

*Equity investing involves market risk, including possible loss of principal.

Eric Hutchinson (http://erichutchinsonfinancial.com) is a Certified Financial Planner™ with more than 30 years of experience in the areas of financial planning, investments, estate and tax planning. Hutchinson has professional affiliations with The Financial Planning Association, the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards and the Investment Management Consultants Association. His new book The Financial Briefing, distills time-tested wisdom based on decades of professional experience and provides an overview of many of the financial and life issues everyone will face at some point.