Tarra Jackson, known as Madam Money, is a seasoned Personal Finance Expert with over 20 years experience in the personal finance sector as a corporate trainer, loan officer, Vice President of Lending and Executive Vice President at several major financial institutions. Tarra is the author of the best-selling book “Financial Fornication” as well as a nationally acclaimed speaker, commentator, consultant, author, & syndicated blogger covering topics from cash and credit management to insurance and investment basics.
Let’s face it … It’s just not working out. It’s not you; it’s him! What started as a blooming and potential long-term romance has become a natural disaster. He’s a great guy but just not right for you. Even your family and friends are wondering, “Why him?”
Whether it is an incompatibility in personality, goals, communication, or in the bedroom, sometimes things just don’t work out. And if you know it’s not going to last, why should your spend your hard earned money to buy him a gift for Christmas?
Honestly, not only have I had a boyfriend break up with me before the holidays, I’ve had to “bust a move” on a few beaus right before Christmas myself. So, here are three ways to break up with your beau before the holidays.
Be Honest.
It’s so hard to say good-bye, but trying to resuscitate a dead situation is not only painful, it can be a waste of time and money. If it’s not working out, be gentle and sensitive to your beau’s feelings, but be honest about your feelings and why you feel that it’s not working out. A real man will appreciate your honesty and who knows, he might just feel the same way. Oh yeah, avoid the blame game. When you are trying to make a clean break; take one for the team by taking ownership of the situation. This will minimize the dramatic exits.
Be Unavailable.
For the passive-aggressive types, the best way to show that you are uninterested is to become overly unavailable. Not responding to text messages or calls, and even ignoring their covert social media posts, may give them hints of your disinterest. If he should invite you to a dinner with his family or a romantic getaway; politely decline his invitation because you have made other plans (even if you don’t know what those plans are yet). This technique may take awhile for him to catch on if he’s not paying attention or refuses to take the hints. If being unavailable doesn’t work, try the first tip … Be Honest.
Be Bitchy.
Although men love “the chase” and some may be attracted to the “Bitchy” type, most men hate to be nagged or complained to or about all of the time. Finding every opportunity to nag or complain may just help him realize that you are not the one. But, be careful. Some men are highly attracted to this type of woman and may latch on even harder. If being “bitchy” doesn’t work and makes him want you more, try the first tip … Be Honest!
On another note … there may be a situation where you don’t want to break up with your beau because you like hanging out with him. However, you don’t necessarily want to exchange gifts this Christmas. Instead of kicking him to the curb, just have “The Gift Talk” to set expectations. Perhaps your “presence” will be the best present you can give to each other.
When planning your Financial Future, also known as Retirement, make sure to diversity your savings and investments. Diversification (having different types) of savings and investments is crucial to ensure that you do not out live your income after you retire, decide to stop working or become unable to work. From IRAs, 401ks, 403bs to cash value life insurance policies and stocks; there are several ways to build wealth for your future.
An Annuity is also a way to diversify financial future savings as well. Annuity comes the Latin work “annus” meaning annually or yearly. An Annuity is an insurance product that insures an income payout and is usually used as part of a retirement planning strategy. Although “Annuities are a popular choice for investors who want to receive a steady income stream in retirement,” it can compliment any person’s financial future and retirement savings based on their desired outcome and strategy.
Just like with any other financial vehicle, there are pros and cons. One size does not fit all when it comes to financial planning. Therefore, it is always best to consult with a financial professional, insurance agent or financial advisor to determine the best strategy for your situation.
Click here for more cool videos about Annuities, then feel free to connect with me for chat about how or if an Annuity may work for your financial future savings strategy.
Financial Freedom, like salvation, is available for EVERYONE. However, even though we have access to it, there are principles or “commandments” that should be obeyed. So, here are the “10 Commandments for Financial Freedom.”
COMMANDMENT I: THOU SHALL MAKE IT A LIFESTYLE CHANGE, NOT A FINANCIAL DIET!
Diets are meant to be temporary; and if you can’t sustain it, old behaviors may return. Make positive financial changes that can be easy to incorporate in your “Lifestyle” and can be maintained over time to improve and enhance your financial situation.
COMMANDMENT II: THOU SHALL GET ORGANIZED
Get all of your financial statements and bills organized. This will be helpful when building and updating your spending plan (aka a budget).
COMMANDMENT III: THOU SHALL START SMALL
Every little bit counts with building savings. Start with a small savings goal and build up over time.
COMMANDMENT IV: PAY YOURSELF FIRST!
Saving is the key. Not only for emergencies but for opportunities and your future. Make sure you put your oxygen mask on first financially to ensure you have enough to help yourself and your family.
COMMANDMENT V: WAIT!
Before deciding to make a large purchase, give yourself a few days to think about the purchase or find a cheaper price. Buyer’s remorse is a pain in the …. (you know what)!
COMMANDMENT VI: THOU SHALL PAY BILL ON TIME
Structuring when your bill payments are due will help you comply and regulate your spending plan (aka budget). Paying your credit accounts will help improve you credit reports because payment history is 35% of credit scores.
COMMANDMENT VII: THOU SHALL LEAVE CREDIT CARDS AT HOME
Use cash as much as possible! This will help you take control of compulsive spending and avoid adding on to existing debt.
COMMANDMENT VIII: NEVER FEEL DEPRIVED
Feeling deprived leads to splurging. So, don’t focus on what you can’t do or spend. Rather, focus on what you will be able to do and spend when you plan and budget for it.
COMMANDMENT IX: THOU SHALL TREAT YOURSELF
Do something small and frequent to treat yourself for keeping up with your spending plan (aka budget) and the goals you set for yourself. Moderation is key, so make sure you Reward Yourself Responsibly.
COMMANDMENT X: THOU SHALL BE CONTENT
One of life’s greatest pleasures is to be content with what you have. It is good to desire more to drive you towards your goals and plans, but being content makes the journey more pleasurable.
Comply with these commandments and enjoy the Financial Freedom you desire and deserve!
After a great first day at FinCon, I attended Fidelity’s Women and Money event hosted by Tonya RapleyMyFabFinance.com and Melanie LockertDearDebt.com. It was a delicious dinner on a yacht filled with wonderful and brilliant women in the financial literacy industry. We connected, shared money tips for women, laughed and celebrated each other.
A few of my take-aways from the dinner event were:
Put Your Oxygen Mask On First
Most women give so much of themselves to everyone around them that they forget or neglect Giving Back to the Giver. There is a reason why the first instruction when we fly a plane is to “put your oxygen mask on first.” Taking care of ourselves is crucial. As women, we must allow ourselves time to rejuvenate, repair and replenish our mind, body, and soul so we can continue to give our blessings to the world.
Fail Forward
Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche reminded us that failure is not final, rather a step closer to success. She gave an impressive example of how we were taught to ride a bike. When we started riding a two-wheeler, we fell a few times, but that didn’t stop us. We kept trying until we rode that two-wheeler with no help and didn’t fall. She explained that it is strange that people are so afraid to fail when it comes to money. Just like learning to ride a bike, falling off our budget, credit or investments is not final. We should Fail Forward, learn from our mistakes and keep working towards financial success! Let’s have some Fun Failing Forward!
We Lose When We Don’t Ask
Tara Wacks of About.com explained that one of the reasons why women don’t get the same pay or benefits as men is because “Women don’t ask.” Tara and other ladies shared why it is so important for women to ASK for more. Even if we think the answer will be “No,” the answer will always be “NO” if we never ASK! So ask for that raise, that promotion, etc. Just ASK! Check out Tara’s new movements TheBalance.com and Shift.TheBalance.com. They give Women the tools needed to ASK!
You are Your Best Investment
We were asked to share our best investment. A resounding response from ladies was that investing in themselves was their best investment and had the biggest return. I was one of them and agree. I shared that my best investment, other than attending my first FinCon, was my investment in self-publishing my first book, Financial Fornication. When we invest in ourselves, there are no losses, and we do get the biggest return!
“F” That!
A lovely woman of wealth Emily Guy Birken, author of “The 5 Years Before You Retire,” stood up proudly and shared her final tip for the women at the event. She eloquently shared, “F THAT!!!” People are going to be upset if you stand your ground, be a savvy business woman, ask for what you deserve and don’t take people’s S#IT! So “F” That! Do YOU! It’s your life and your wealth. Don’t let anyone that is not going to positively contribute to your success control your actions and intimidate you from doing YOU!
There was so much more information shared at the Women and Money Event. The bond that was made at this event will last a lifetime. I encourage women to connect, collaborate and continue to kick A$$ because #WomensWealth Rocks!!!
Are you (or someone you know) recently divorced? I’m not … but I’ve worked with several clients who are.
If are recently divorced, you may be feeling not just the loss of a partner, but also the absence of the second paycheck. Chances are, you have been living a lifestyle based on two incomes, and now that you are the sole provider there are some changes that will need to be made. First important thing is to determine what you can live on by compiling your household and other bills and adding them up, including your food and gas expenses. Then try these 5 Quick Financial Survival Tips for the Recently Divorced.
Downsize Housing or Seek Assistance
If your rent is more than you can handle, you can search for a smaller more affordable apartment. Or if you can’t afford your mortgage alone, you can try to refinance or put the home on the market for sale. Consult with a real estate professional to help you through the process in the event a Short Sale is necessary. There are also nonprofit organizations that provide assistance with foreclosure prevention.
Reduce Cable & Cell Phone Bills
There are some quick things you can do to help you through the first year, such as reducing your cable and cell phone bills. Many of us have more channels than we watch, and now would be a good time to check to see what you are paying for and remove any channels or extra cable boxes that you do not need. Change your cell phone plan to basic usage, if possible. However, if your cell phone is your primary telephone, have your cell phone usages evaluated to find a better or more affordable plan. Also, removing any extra features and also choosing a plan with fewer minutes. Cancel your landline telephone service, if it is rarely used.
Shop Smaller Portions
Shopping for groceries may take some getting used to, especially if you have been in a relationship for a long time. You may want to buy smaller packages of things such as meat, or freeze the portion that you will not use immediately. Make a list and use coupons. Eating at home and bringing your lunch to work will reduce those extra expenses.
Increase Your Income
If you find that after doing everything humanly possible you still do not have enough to live on, then you may want to take on a part-time job to offset your expenses. This may be a challenge, especially if you have children. So, consider starting your own home based business or connecting with a network marketing organization that is right for you with a good compensation plan and reasonable independent business owner investment.
Update Your Beneficiaries & Tax Withholding
One of the most common things that recently divorced people neglect to do is update their beneficiaries on their insurance policies, bank and investment accounts. Make sure you update all financial documents that have or require a beneficiary. Also, don’t forget to update your tax withholding on your W-4 or W-9, if necessary. Consult with your personal financial team to make these changes completely and correctly. If you don’t have your own personal Financial Team, create one that consists of your favorite Banker, Insurance Agent, Investment Adviser, Tax Accountant and Financial Coach, like me, to help you through this process.
Changing your lifestyle is hard enough without having to go through a divorce. Now that it is just you, and your children if you have any, altering your budget and spending habits will help you sustain your lifestyle. Cutting back where possible and necessary will give you greater flexibility with your spending plan or budget.
Not sure when to start your financial planning? Of course, starting sooner is best, but what should we do if we start later in life? In honor of National Save for Retirement Week (October 18 – 24, 2015), New York Life shares some great tips on Financial Planning in your 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s.
Financial Planning in your 20s
Start saving early
Consider this crazy math: Assuming the same hypothetical rate of 5% return on the savings, a 25-year-old who invests $2,000 a year for 13 years can end up with more by the age of 65 than a 37-year old who invests $2000 a year for 29 years, even though the 37-year old invests more than twice as much!1
That head start is what makes all the difference.
And here’s why:
When you save or invest in a given year, your money earns interest. The following year, you earn interest on your original money plus the interest from the year before. In the third year, you earn interest on your original money and interest from the first two years (and so on for years four through “however many you live”).
This is what’s known as a compound interest. And it’s one of the reasons you should start saving now, when you have decades ahead of you for that money to grow. To free up some cash for your initial investments, here are a few simple things you can start doing today:
Be real: First things first. Be realistic about what you actually need and what you just “sort of want.” Invite your friends to dinner and have each of them bring a dish (it’s cheaper than takeout and a lot more fun). Learn to mend your clothes (and add your own touch to them). Save your favorite cup of designer coffee for when you absolutely need it—you’d be surprised how quickly you can afford a term premium.
Embark on a tall order so you don’t come up short: Take the time to sit down and identify your goals: short, medium and long. Define them in clear absolutes: saving up for furniture, a car, or a honeymoon (short term); building a nest egg for a house or apartment (medium term); planning for kids, their college, your retirement (long term).
Give yourself some credit: In order to qualify for the best interest rates on a credit card, car loan or mortgage, you’ll need to build a solid credit history. So pick a single card and stay on top of the payments.
Cut the cord: If a parent or role model is helping you manage your finances, it’s time to take the reins and put yourself in charge. After all, whoever controls your finances controls your life—and your future.
Think before you marry: Remember, your spouse will be your co-money manager, so financial values and views on spending and saving are something you should discuss before you consider a ring.
Put your health first: Make sure you have continuous (i.e., no breaks in coverage) health insurance. Don’t let an unexpected health issue and the resulting medical bills diminish your savings.
While your 20s may have been spent getting to know your worth out on the job market, making some spending mistakes and possibly not putting saving for retirement on top of your priority list, your 30s are the time to be completely and absolutely serious about your financial future.
More likely than not, you’ll have to consider the financial needs of your spouse and/or children, which means your financial responsibilities and expenses are likely to increase as well. Don’t be thrown off track by short-term moves in the market and don’t get distracted by the headlines. Stay on course towards your personal goals. Remember that a disciplined long-term investment approach is still the best way to go. In addition to that general advice, here are some methods for addressing the challenges and coming out ahead:
Get rid of it: Eliminate non-mortgage debt. Nothing frees up cash for your growing family responsibilities like paying off high-interest loans. If you didn’t take care of credit card debt in your 20s, now is the time to do it. Student loans and car loans come next.
Be a number cruncher: It’s time to sit down and do the math. Figure out how much you need to retire and start saving for the investment plans you’ll want.
Put yourself first: Don’t save for your kids’ college tuition before saving for retirement. It may be far easier to take a loan out for college.
Spread the wealth: Diversify and protect your portfolio. You’ll need to weather both the ups and the downs securely.
Ask the hard questions: Plan for the “what ifs” by insuring what you have. Homeowners insurance, health insurance*, disability insurance* and life insurance: they’re all crucial.
With 20 years of work behind you and another 20 (at least) ahead of you, now is the time to prepare for the second half of your career and for retirement afterwards. If you’re fortunate to have a disposable income, try not to dispose of it all. You may want to consider an retirement plan to boost your retirement savings. Remember, you’re far more likely to need that discretionary income in your later years.
To help you secure both your own and your family’s financial futures, here are six targeted initiatives to consider during your 40s if not sooner:
Create a master plan: Figure out when you want to retire, how much you want to earn each year and create a realistic map to reach your goals.
Sock it away: Once you know how much you’ll need, stay disciplined and save consistently.
Don’t skimp: You may have more expenses than ever; still, it’s important to keep in mind that every dollar you save now can potentially earn you as much as $10 in retirement income.
Keep a close eye out: Scrutinize your retirement plan every couple of years. Make sure your retirement savings are living up to your expectations.
Embrace change: Be open and flexible to changing your retirement age and amount you save as the economy and your portfolio’s performance shift in response to events.
Protect your loved ones: Make sure the beneficiaries on all your accounts are up to date. If you don’t already have one, create a will. And determine if your life, disability* and homeowner’s insurance provides enough coverage for your family’s needs.
If you haven’t started your retirement planning yet, then now’s the time to start. The good news is that you probably have 10-15 peak earning years left to reach your goals. Additionally, many of your larger expenses—like your mortgage—may soon be behind you, so one strategy would be to use those funds to save for retirement. Keep in mind that you’re entering a phase where market volatility can be more of a concern because you will have less time to recover from a dip.
And remember, if you’re in your peak earning years, you should maximize your 401(k) by making sure you are contributing enough to take advantage of your employer’s full match.
You’ll also want to put each of the following on a checklist:
Look out for Number One: No more distractions. Your retirement plan should be your first priority now.
Be calculated: Estimate living expenses and determine what your accounts will be worth when you retire. You can use the calculators available on the Internet to determine these figures, or you can contact your financial professional to give you a more accurate number.
Consolidate: If you have worked for several employers over the years and have accumulated a number of smaller plans, consider consolidating them: this will give you a clearer picture of your plan’s overall performance. It can also make managing your portfolio simpler and easier. Note, however, that your asset choices may be somewhat limited if you choose this option.
Make it an obsession: It’s important to pay close and frequent attention to your retirement plans. Be sure to review them yearly. At this stage, your portfolio and estate planning goals need close attention.
Do a balancing act: Assess the risks and rewards of your retirement portfolio. Keep an eye on asset allocation and make sure you are looking at the percentage allocated to each type of asset at least once a year. Redirect future contributions or rebalance your portfolio between asset classes as necessary.
Play catch-up: Part of the Restoring Earnings to Lift Individuals and Empower Families (RELIEF) Act of 2001 allows you to aggressively build your retirement account now, and in some cases catch up for lost time. Keep in mind, though, that the IRS has specific catch-up limits that apply to individuals 50 and older. Ask your financial professional to help you do all you can to maximize your nest egg now.
Tarra “Madam Money” Jackson is a financial educator, international speaker, author, and wealth empowerment strategist helping you heal, build, and grow your wealth.
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